Still Today

Time is longer and slower when you are waiting on something you want to see happen. Its longer and slower since the date and times become mere blurs because your timing isn't what is Reality. Reality is a full blown renovation takes 6-9 months collectively. We were hoping 3 months. Hah. Reality is, you have to wait to get matched for adoption and then wait until the baby comes. We thought it might just happen in like 3 months. We are the 3 month people. We say "10 years" and its like 3 Year Reality Check. I think its almost more an issue for someone when they realize their faults and cant correct them...I try and try and try to live by my own accord, and then I realize what happens... I cannot. I break my own rules, I break my own laws, and I can't even keep my head focused on what I know is Reality vs. my own timeframe. Just now I am sitting at my phone wondering if I should text someone to push them to get something done on my own timing. I mean its tough, how can you be patient when your home is fully gutted, your living with your parents, and your waiting on your adopted baby to come and then get finalization. That is kind of crazy. I mean I don't think we are bad people. But we did this to ourselves. We really did. I do feel like they were the right decisions though, but at the end of the day, this is our life....this is IT, right now, and Reality says, "Look its a LONG AND SLOW road". Take your time. Don't run through this life. Don't run so far ahead that you miss the Now. Don't miss the Now, because there is some unique beauty in living in Today. Today is Hard. But its still Today. Its still Today... For God's laws are pure , His way is sure, His call is divine 

Hope

Heard in the night , heard in the Air
Heard from the mountain top valley down below side
Where can I run?! I cannot , I cannot
Where shall I go?! I cannot, I cannot
You hear my prayer, You hear my prayer!
Peace that is the creation of Peace!
HEARD HOPE<HEARD HOPE
HOPE is from an answered prayer
For the unknown is made KNOWN
The sight RESTORED
YOUR SPIRIT CONFIRMS OUR PRAYER
WHERE CAN I RUN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope.

Hear

It's amazing that God hears our prayers. He isn't a wooden block nor a picture hanging on a wall. But alive ! He heard my prayer. He will continue to hear my prayers . My God is alive ! Jesus is my way to the Father ... Jesus tell Abba that I need His help constantly ! For I am a sinner a dirty man , terribly sick and in need of a physician ... Let me have mercy today 

Contractors

I haven't written in awhile . 2016 is a hard year , I have felt alone a lot this year , I've felt outta control mostly. Work is weird , dealing with contractors makes you want to cry . God is here though. He has never left me. For I know the plans I have for you ,'my son '. I know this is true just having a hard time right now with all . Living with my parents has been good but tough too , i don't want to do this again . There is a reason why God says to us male and female He created them and that they should leave their parents . I guess that's the hard part for me is I see my life 5 yrs ago and how freeing that felt to be just Ashley and I and then came along Millie and now I feel like all is lost and I'm living with my parents again , losing all sense of identity or family I created. God help ! God answer ! Our family isn't complete yet , we don't have a home to live in that's our own , but we still need to be hopeful . God help! God ! Help! Please show me what contractor to use for Hardy ... Amen